Aged Care: The Conversations No One Wants to Have, But Everyone Needs To

Aged Care, it’s an emotional minefield.

I still remember the conversations with my two brothers and our dear mum, Therese—conversations filled with worry, love, and uncertainty.

It started with those early warning signs, the quiet questions:

“Are you still comfortable letting the kids in the car with Nan?”
“What’s with the extra dents on the car, Mum?”

We all tiptoed around it, trying to protect her independence—but also wanting to keep her, and everyone else, safe.

"Mum, seriously—you wouldn’t forgive yourself if something happened on the road."

"I know how much you value your freedom, but do you really feel 100% confident driving?"

Looking back, I realise that this was the first step in a gradual loss of independence—and it’s one of the hardest.

Then came the gentle questions about how she was going at home.

“Are you eating well?”
“Is it getting harder to stay on top of things around the house?”

This is often where the slide begins. Nutrition takes a back seat to convenience. The house isn’t quite as it used to be. And, as always, the family steps in—doing whatever we can.

Home Care: A Beautiful Support System (Once You Navigate It)

We’re lucky in Australia to have an incredible aged care system—but navigating it isn’t always simple. It’s not as easy as calling a number and having help delivered. There’s a process. And for many older Australians, it feels intrusive at first. 

"Mum, you need an aged care assessment"

"A what?"

The Single Assessment System Workforce (previously ACAT) evaluates your needs to determine what level of support you’re eligible for. They look at your health, daily living abilities, mental wellbeing, social connections—and any special needs.

Mum’s response?
“I don’t need any help. I’m fine. And I don’t want strangers touching my stuff!”

Sound familiar?

This isn’t just paperwork. It’s a deeply emotional process for everyone. Because talking about aged care often means acknowledging that living independently is getting harder.

When the ACAT team arrived, they were incredible—kind, professional, and experienced. Mum answered the door in her Sunday best, determined to prove how capable she was.
Mum, it’s not a competition!

As they watched her navigate the kitchen, they quietly took in the full picture—things we, as family, might overlook. They’re trained to see what’s really going on.

Thanks to the ACAT and a wonderful home care team, Mum was able to stay in her own home for almost five more years. She built beautiful relationships with her carers. We were grateful.

But the worry never truly left.

When Something Happens

It’s often not a decision—it’s an event that forces your hand.

My brother and I had both just returned from overseas. The next weekend, he stopped by Mum’s place. No answer. We’d been trying to call for over an hour, as had our kids. He let himself in.

She was in the bathtub. She’d been stuck there for nearly 24 hours.

Your worst nightmare. The guilt. The fear. The “what ifs.”

We were lucky. She recovered. But it was clear: we needed to talk about residential care.

A Whole New Ballpark

As financial planners with nearly 30 years of experience, my brother and I know our way around money, Centrelink, and strategy.

But aged care? It’s a whole new world. The rules change constantly, and the decisions feel heavier because they’re so personal.

Thankfully, I work alongside Megan Rich, our in-house aged care specialist. Megan has also been in financial planning for almost 30 years and has spent years deepening her knowledge in this exact area. She guides families through this every day.

Suddenly we were asking:

• What do we do with Mum’s house—sell or rent?

• How will that affect her pension?

• What’s a RAD (Refundable Accommodation Deposit)?

• What are the daily care fees?

• Do we need a new ACAT?

• What’s the right facility for her?

Eventually, we found a fantastic home at Arcare Belmont, and, later, Arcare Warners Bay. The care has been wonderful, and we sleep easier knowing she’s safe, well-fed, and connected.

If you're going through this now - whether it's early conversations or urgent decisions - I want, you to know you're not alone.

This journey is complex and emotional. But with the right support, both financial and emotional, you can navigate it with grace and love.

There’s some big changes on the horizon for Aged Care rules from 1 July 2025, we’d be happy to help you navigate them. If you have questions, need guidance, or just want to talk to someone who gets it, we’re here.

Because aged care isn’t just about services and assessments—it’s about people, dignity, and family.